Oh the longing...

[Bea's Friend]

I haven't posted in a while. I have been helping out at the local Therapeutic Riding Assoc. I am really enjoying it and am still a caregiver for Rowdy. It is so neat because he comes to me when I call him - even if he is way out in the paddock.I really enjoy grooming him and doing groundwork( but no riding is allowed which is understandable)
I would have thought that being able to care for him would ease the longing for my own horse - but ... it hasn't.
It would take an absolute MIRACLE for me to have my own horse - and it is not even something I pray about because I know it's impossible.
I guess I just needed to come on here and vent my longing and frustration- even tho I know there are no answers to this- I guess I thought that eventually this desire would go away - but it only increases more and more.
Grrrr.... sorry for being such a downer :(
I know I need to be content and grateful with the contact I at least have with Rowdy...

[PaCe2WN]

I'm sorry you're feeling so down about this. :( I think that you should pray for it, though. You'd be surprised at the miracles that happen in life...There have been many things in my life that I KNEW would never happen. But they did. Somehow or other, they happened, and I'm sure it was because God knew that I needed my life needed a little push in the right direction. I'm praying for you tonight, but I'd feel rather stupid just doing it all by myself, so I'd appreciate it if you could say one as well that your horse finds you. Miracles happen...don't give up yet. :)

[cowboys_mom]

Bea's Friend.
First, let me say, never be sorry for coming here weather it be to vent, rejoice, cry, laugh, shout, whatever the reason, we are always glad to have you come here. ;)
second, why would it take a miracle for you to have your own horse. I use to think the same thing. But now I have cowboy. Anyway, I know the one who does miracles! Prayer always seems to help, maybe if you asked God for a horse of your own, or if that not be in His will, then to take away your longing for one, so you don't hurt so much. I know that He doesn't want his people hurting over anything.
I didn't mean to start preaching, I just feel bad that you are hurting so bad, and really prayer is the only thing I can think of that can help. :)

I will keep you in my prayers.
God Bless
cowboys_mom = elaine

[Hrsecrzy1]

Some of us have been in that trench, too and have relied on that miracle. In human terms things seem hopeless and impossible. Money, facilities, the support of family/spouse, etc. all appear to be obstacles and it's all we're able to see.

Working with other's horses and even having one that is ours to care for and foster a relationship, though a blessing, does not relieve the need or desire for one of our own. Some days we're filled with gratitude for what we DO have and others it's hard to get through without feeling utterly discouraged and forgotten. Yes, I'd say that's a familiar ache to many of us.

I remember my down days when I would have a heart-to-heart with God about this need HE placed in my heart. It was Him, afterall, who created me with a passion and desire for horses so it didn't seem fair that He would withhold my dream (yeah, big pitty-party). The words would barely be out of my mouth before I was reminded of all that I did have: Days End, 50+ horses at my disposal at any time, a relationship with a few special horses who knew ME and the same with some wonderful people. Not only did I have horses in my life, I was able to give back to an organization that needed ME and who doesn't feel good about that?

Throughout my years at DE I have had horses come and go. I've seen some come through the gates that I would have loved to take home and I've felt the pangs of jealousy, but overall I would say that I learned how to be content in my circumstances. Content but hopeful for the future. I knew my heart was in good hands and that God alone could work out the miracle I needed.

And true to form....HE did!

Hang in there, Bea's Friend. From someone who's been there, you're in good hands and you are being blessed!

[Penny]

Mojo is living proof that miracles do happen!

Your a horse person.....the longing will never go away. It may diminish once in awhile, but it will never go away. Sorry to break it to you, but when you love horses, not just like, but truely love them, its part of your ....being.

Hang in the Girl! Sometimes it seems like the wait is forever, but eventually something good will come. Until the better thing comes along, Rowdy will welcome you with open heart.

[Cassie1]

It's good that you can let it out - everyone needs to have a place/friends where they can tell it like it is and not be ashamed..feelings are part of who we are...

And I truly believe that the perfect horse for you is being prepared...you don't know what's around the next corner...trust and know that things are happening the way they are supposed to...and today is not forever...tomorrow comes and you don't know what that holds..

Hang in there and tell it like it is!
Ginger

[clicka]

Hey I just stepped into your shoes.2 weeks ago I was living on a farm with 4 horses. My hubby came home one day and said we have to move back to town now,today. So 3 days later we were in a condo with no yard, minus 2 dogs and the horses are in new homes.I couldnt bare to go through the process of selling them so I gave them all to good friends who lived near me. All my tack and barn supplies went with them.I know that sounds completely nuts, but I just didnt want to think about it, just get it done.I kept my helmets and boots.

So now I just got a job at an old Arabian breeding farm.I'm caring for 3 mares and a stallion ages 10,23,25,25. I'm doing that 4 days a week but there is no chance of riding there. So I'm planning on taking riding lessons once a week once I can afford it.
It is kindof a bummer but really the amount of time I'm spending with these horses is more than I spent having my own at home. And taking a lesson a week will average out over the year to probably be more time than I spent riding my own horses. Plus it is a relief in a way to not have the personal responsibility. I worried alot when I had mine at home. Ok I was obsessed.LOL. having the money for things we needed, training, care, farrier, health care, barn maintanence......
I see me having a horse in the distant future. It will probably be a lease or a boarding situation.
I'm just going to be thankful for what I have and try and learn from it.I've already learned alot working with the Arabians. :)

[justbcos]

Prayer never hurt, God won't think your request is silly. And if I remember correctly, I think 3 people on this board have gotten horses for free, just within the last few months! So never give up!

i can sure understand your longing though. I was away from horses for 20 years, and it was nearly unbearable. When I finally got Winnie, it was the sweetest feeling!

[MeasureMe]

Bea's Friend, this is a good place to come when you are feeling down and need a shoulder.

I used to volunteer at a therapeutic riding center, too. It was a wonderful experience and my hat's off to you for doing this. We need more people like you.:D

Keep up the good works; what goes around comes around (maybe not in this life, but...) and things always seem to work out.

[Bea's Friend]

Thank you Pace2wn- Cowboysmom, Hrsecrzy1, Penny, Cassie1, Clika, Justbecos,and Measureme for replying.
It really helps to come on here and vent because there is no one in my life who can understand how I feel. I sometimes feel I am addicted to horses and wonder if I am unbalanced in - how much I read about them, think about them , and long for my own.
I am so truly happy for everyone on here that has had that miracle happen - butI think that I am going to be the exception to the rule ( I am not saying that in a pity party sort of way - or as a lack of faith) although I have had my share of pity parties over this! but - I just can't see it happening.

It has been almost a year since Bea was put down, and although she wasn't mine , my friend allowed me complete access to her and also I could share her with others - and that is probably what I loved the most was sharing her - giving my out of town nephews rides and bringing my brother out to see her , etc.
Of course I feel so guilty about complaining about this - God has given me 5 great children and an ADORABLE grandson - good health, etc -
and at least I have contact with the Therapeutic Riding horses- so I need to be more content and grateful-
thanks for letting me vent and for your thoughtful, compassionate replies -
God Bless.

[(un)stablemom]

Beas Friend-
I remember how much you loved Bea. I was the one that suggested you keep your name here. I know you have a big heart, and have so much love to give. I do have faith that a miracle will happen for you. Keep doing what you are doing. Keep the faith. When you least expect it, something will fall in place. Your horse hasn't found it's way to you yet, that's all.

[PaCe2WN]

I am so truly happy for everyone on here that has had that miracle happen - butI think that I am going to be the exception to the rule ( I am not saying that in a pity party sort of way - or as a lack of faith) although I have had my share of pity parties over this! but - I just can't see it happening.




You know, we all thought the same thing too. ;) But that was because 'our' horses hadn't been offered to us yet. It'll come...it just takes time.

[leeleeb1]

Hello all,,

Just wanted to let Bea's Friend know that miracles do happen , 4 years ago I just started riding ,, Very afraid but longed for my own horse ,, Something always got in the way,, mostly money, and busy lives ,, So I settled for riding someone elses horse,, All I wanted was to walk out my front door and see horses grazing in the field and all I wanted to do was ride and groom them,, I never in a million years thought that I would have one of my very own,,
Now 4 years later we have put up a barn on our property and have my horses grazing in the field,,
So you see they do happen but they only happen in there own time.
When the time is right it'll happen :)

[nelson]

I have missed you and other older members. Sorry you are bumbed out.

Hey I got some awesome paints for sale.

If you remember me we have been trying to bred quality paints, we have great horses, but the market more than smacks right now. We sold Jake (25 yr) awesome QH to some great people. They are in their late 70s still ride, have 2 30 yr old horses, and their baby is 24. I was so happy and sad at the same time. I miss Jake everyday, but he is being spoiled rotten.

I hope things work out for you. It is funny, but it is crazy I have too many horses, our finances are hurting. You want a horse and don't have one.

Take care, like I said I have missed you.

Annie

[ShadowfaX]

Honey if someone like me can manage tohave horse in their life anyone can. ;) Don't give up your dream and do talk to God about it. Talk non stop all the time. Even if it takes a long tme to get the answer you will get ther and meanwhil you have a listening ear 24/7 to pour your heart out to. After all Jesus did say keep on asking. You have to not give in. So often I was sure that once Whiskey was gone I would never have another horse. Then I got to lease a nice mare for a year and that was great but not enough i wanted to have my own horse that was mine. I did pray often about it and finally got the nerve to ask if I could buy my mare. She was not for sale. I could not aford to buy her even if she was. but somehow it worked out. She's mine now. My perfect horse and don't I just think of her every minute and thank God I have her.

Some day some how you will have your horse.

So how about you tell us what obstacles keep you from having a horse and maybe we all can help you overcome them? At least we can be a shoulder to lean on and you know if people pray all togather to help someone sometimes all that extra will move things along faster. Can't hurt right? :)

[vsolubo]

(((Hugs))) I have also been in your shoes, horseless & longing. I hope you get your own horse soon!